Jealous
by LeFarFadet
Summary: She had memorized words of encouragement and congratulations that she intended to recite as if it was not important, in a tone precisely calculated to hide her emotion. She wouldn't mean any of it. She was jealous. (written after chap. 195, translated from French after 196)
1. Prologue

Prologue

"Every one of us is thus the half of what may be properly termed a man, and like a psetta cut in two, is the imperfect portion of an entire whole, perpetually necessitated to seek the half belonging to him."

"Whenever, therefore, any such as I have described are impetuously struck, through the sentiment of their former union, with love and desire and the want of community, they are unwilling to be divided even for a moment. These are they who devote their whole lives to each other, with a vain and inexpressible longing to obtain from each other something they know not what; for it is not merely the sensual delights of their intercourse for the sake of which they dedicate themselves to each other with such serious affection; but the soul of each manifestly thirsts for, from the other, something which there are no words to describe, and divines that which it seeks, and traces obscurely the footsteps of its obscure desire. If Vulcan should say to persons thus affected, "My good people, what is it that you want with one another?" And if, while they were hesitating what to answer, he should proceed to ask, "Do you not desire the closest union and singleness to exist between you, so that you may never be divided night or day? If so, I will melt you together, and make you grow into one, so that both in life and death ye maybe undivided. Consider, is this what you desire? Will it content you if you become that which I propose?" We all know that no one would refuse such an offer, but would at once feel that this was what he had ever sought; and intimately to mix and melt and to be melted together with his beloved, so that one should be made out of two."

The Banquet (symposium) Plato


	2. You miss a single being

**Chapter 1**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

You Miss a Single Being …

Why? Why did it hurt so much?

This pain was beyond understanding. It was the first time she'd felt this way and yet she'd had her share of suffering. She didn't understand. She should have been happy. She had decided to scratch those few letters that formed the word "love" from her life, but she was the one bound to it, not her circle of acquaintances. And it wasn't the first time that someone important to her was "settling down".

She had been overjoyed when Kanae had announced that she had met someone and then she had encouraged Maria when the pre-teen wanted to throw a party to get closer to a boy. She was always happy to see people who loved each other get together. She had given her blessing to Chiori and Hikaru. She even took pride in having helped Mimori create a true relationship with Shoutaro only a few weeks before and without any regret! None of that was cause for anxiety, she was satisfied to see that these people, whom she cared about, were able to feel those emotions. It was good for them.

Then why... Why was she not simply amazed by what this headline revealed when she had innocently laid her eyes on it? Why did she experience the strange feeling that, somehow, she would never ever be happy again?

A third train passed without her notice. It was late and she should have been in a hurry to get back home, however once she sat on the bench in the station, she had not been able to look at anything but the poster she was facing. She wondered if this was the reason why the president had asked to see her.

No, that was silly; he had no reason to talk to her about that, she was absolutely not involved. Nevertheless, it explained why Kanae had insisted on asking her if she'd read that particular paper.

The cover of a fashionable monthly magazine, printed in a ten by ten square, showing a scene reminiscent of a fairytale, was scoffing at her with its enchanting setting, romantic story and perfect happiness involving protagonists that the whole country looked up to. Two lovers, as beautiful as gods, tenderly holding hands, while standing on the red carpet. It was anyone's dream, anyone's but her's.

No! She certainly didn't want to be in Miss Momose's place, rather the opposite. There was nothing that scared her more than the thought of holding that man's hand.

Then why? Why did it hurt so much?

Ever since she had begun her career in the entertainment industry, nearly four years earlier, the twenty year old girl sitting on the almost deserted platform had had many occasions to engage in a relationship, but thanks to her strength, had several times succeeded in warding off the demon called love that seemed to be after her.

After all, she had solemnly sworn that she would never again be fooled by that sweet melody! Besides that, none of the men that had approached her were of any real danger to the fortifications she had built around her heart.

First had been Kijima, with his makeover for the Dark Moon party; she had not even understood his real intentions at that moment. Then came Murasame, who had openly tried to go after her, after Setsuka Heel's identity was revealed. Seeing how surprised she was, her friends had warned her that this was probably going to happen more and more often, and in fact, Hikaru also took his turn shortly thereafter. He had asked her out when she decided to leave Bridge Rock because of other opportunities. Finally, after she'd had her first success in a lead role, the year before, she had stopped paying attention to the suitors that seemed to be multiplying.

Fans, colleagues, admirers... There was always someone. She had gotten used to it. A celebrity's fame really was a frightful thing. Even Shoutaro had tried to get her back! She had simply laughed. At that time she had long since given up on her revenge against him and lost any attachment towards the singer. That was almost three months ago. The events that followed had the advantage of allowing her out of the "LoveMe" section.

Strangely, despite her notoriety, no one recognized her when she was walking the streets of Tokyo and she could still use public transportation without being addressed, something that led president Takarada to express regret; he dreamed of giving her a personal driver. It seemed that even after a couple of years of success her characters out shined her, and any additional charisma would disappear as soon as she returned to her normal self.

Not a soul was paying attention to the vague shape, hunched on a bench, inertly staring at the poster. Her dazed look was part of the setting, she felt like she was an extra. This thought made her smile. She still felt ordinary most of the time. She closed her eyes.

She was in so much pain.

Only a single person on this planet, an exceptional being, had ever had the tremendous capacity to make her feel unique when she was simply herself. And this person had found love. That was what the headline that burned her eyes claimed. She couldn't seem to manage to process that information.

She made an effort to slow her breathing. She had learned in theater class that breathing with your stomach helped to relax and to concentrate; she had been pleased to note that the technique also was efficient in everyday life– at least for someone impulsive like her. It helped with channeling her demons.

_Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in._

She knew very well why she was in such pain.

Yes, rejecting the men that had sought her out had been easy. None of them was any danger. But him… What would she have done, had it been him? Had he seen her as a woman? What would have happened? No. There was nothing there. She quickly pushed the irrational thought out of her mind. This line of thinking always brought her back to her disillusions, her old beliefs. When she thought about him, she remembered all of her mistakes. She was so ashamed of all the ridiculous ideas she had entertained.

He had tried calling her, about a month before.

She had not answered.

She only needed to breathe calmly.

It had been four months, a week and a day since she had last spotted him from afar in a hallway of the company building, yet if she closed her eyes, she could still perfectly picture the outline of his visage.

It had been six months, a week, five days and little less than an hour, since she had last spoken to him, yet his presence was almost tangible in her memory.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

A wave of remembrance poured behind her closed eyelids. Memories she had desperately tried to obliterate from her nervous system. The taste of his tongue, the softness of his skin, his temperature, his fragrance, the sound of his voice, the color of his eyes…

She heard a loud beeping sound and reopened her eyes, seeing the automatic doors that were about to shut. Reclaiming her spirits, she jumped to her feet with determination. This was not the moment to collapse. After more than three years pushing those burdensome urges away, she had eventually gotten used to having a broken heart. She was not going to give up, here and now, just because she discovered there was a new form of fracture she had not known about.

Sincerely cheering him on might be above her capacities; still, she was an actress. She had to keep it together. She knew all too well what to expect with this man.

She hopped in the train, right before the doors closed.

* * *

Author's note : thanks to Orietta Rose for beta reading.


	3. You miss a single being (2)

**Chapter 2**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

You Miss a Single Being … (2)

Yashiro had only said, "One sentence there caught my attention", while handing the magazine to him. Not needing to be asked, he had started to read the five pages of interview, showing a few photos upon which his eyes had sadly lingered. He had never missed any of the details of her career. Any information about her was always a source of consolation. He was glad to watch her from afar, to silently approve of her professional choices, her risky interpretations. How many times had he refrained from contacting her to congratulate her on such or such success…? She had been rather clear, she had needed to become emancipated and he had decided to respect her choice. Her absence was unbearable. It was because of her that he had overcome his demons, but he had lost her along the way, and he was devoured by his regrets.

It had been seven weeks since his relationship with Momose had been revealed.

He had not particularly expected that she would contact him, no, he had not dared to hope, but in the first days, he had been anticipating, often wondering if she had found out, and if it made her feel anything. Probably nothing special. The president had proclaimed he would be in charge of informing her, but after he met with her, he had remained silent about her reaction. Now that several weeks had passed she could not be unaware that he was now dating the number one actress of his generation. And nothing had changed, though it wasn't as if he had really expected that anything would happen.

Wearing jean shorts and a white lace shirt, she was leaning on a tree with vague eyes, a rebel lock of hair falling on her cheek. He would have liked to get inside the page to slip his fingers through her hair, and breathe her smell. Passing his hand under the short-sleeved shirt to skim her sides. The persistence of her memory was haunting him. Like an addict craving his drug, he almost regretted having ever been able to taste her.

He had gotten used to her proximity during the shooting of Tragic Marker and even after the movie came out they had kept a close relationship.

Lost in thought, he reminisced over those times. She would often come to his place, disingenuously allowing herself to be hugged, and sometimes even staying for the night in his guestroom. He had to have become too familiar at one point. He had never really understood what it was that he had done. He had been so careful! Never had he attempted to seduce her, he had only shown her the smallest of attentions. Respecting her modesty, so as not to rush her, he had patiently weighed every single contact, every gesture, careful not invade her space. She had even trusted him enough to turn to him when the fateful moment when she needed to act a kissing scene had finally arrived. He thus had been able to give her his first sincere kiss, the one that was filled with his true feelings. His heart still raced at the memory.

But this was not what had separated them, he was certain of it, because her behavior had not changed after this incident. It was not his true personality that had frightened her; she'd seen him as he was and had never fled. It was not the identity of his parents either; he had revealed his true name to her and she had been very understanding. The separation had happened long after all that. No, he must have gotten too comfortable without realizing it. She had to have understood his intentions and she had gotten scared. She thought he was a playboy. She did not know how serious he was and she had regretted letting him be a part of her life.

It was the only explanation. If only he'd had the courage to clearly reveal his feelings, that day or the day before… Or the day before… Maybe then…

He carefully read the description of her next project, taking mental note of name of the film, already wondering which new facets of her personality he would be lucky enough to discover there. He sighed as he realized he had finally gotten used the idea of watching her from afar. He could only see her in screens or in paper pages, and that was still better than nothing.

His own professional life had come to a point where his first objective was in his reach. His last films had been successful abroad, and he had just been offered an important part in an American production that would, if he accepted it, cause him to leave soon for several months of shooting.

This was not the first time. He had declined the previous offers because the idea of being far from her made him sick, but he now had to accept the obvious. Whether he was in Tokyo or in New-Zealand, she obviously did not have any intention of coming back into his life. He had already revealed his past to his manager; he was ready to sign this role and to start his international career.

While turning the pages of the magazine, he had to admit that she had visibly obtained her independence. He remembered what had happened between her and Fuwa Sho a few months before. He had wanted to give everything up when the singer had written a song for her. This song was beautiful, he had to admit it. Emotional, sincere, filled with compliments and regrets... Even he would have pitied the boy, had he not envied and hated him so much. He'd spent the following days secluded in his home.

Yashiro and the president had the hardest of times keeping him calm, and it had been necessary to force him to take a break. In the end, she had dealt with it like a lady. Soon, she had held a press conference, in which she calmly confirmed some of the rumors that had circulated about them: It was true she had been raised with him, they had come to Tokyo together and had parted ways for personal reasons. She was completely serene when she declared that there was nothing left between them, that she respected his work as a professional and wished him only success. Lory Takarada had then arrived on the back of a camel and handed her a bright pink diploma. Her "graduation" from the "LoveMe" section had been a big thing. He was proud of her.

She no longer needed his help, she had moved on. She seemed to be doing well, relating the various unusual experiences that she had gone through when she researched for certain roles, describing the joy that every project brought to her, how she felt she was improving and that she wanted to become a better person. He never got tired of looking at her. He liked to recognize her own gestures beyond the characters, to admire the way she changed her posture and her movements to fit the roles.

Seeing her blossom in all these scenes and little by little assume herself in her womanly maturity had been the most beautiful sight he'd been able to contemplate in recent years.

Ever since she had cut ties with him, he had relearned how to use his DVD player.

A melancholic smile escaped him as he guessed he had reached the part of the interview that was supposed to raise his interest. The journalist was now asking about her love life.

His heart beat began to accelerate when he read those lines:

"… No gossip, when I ask her if any famous bachelor could be her type, the lovely actress evades the question with a professional answer. "Oh, about romances, I think I already experienced all I need to interpret a scene," she replies without blushing, adding that the man of her dreams is "Not from this world anyway," with an enigmatic smile. "I am fine by myself" the spirited, well-behaved girl concludes with a timid laugh."

* * *

Author's note : thanks to Orietta Rose for beta reading.

Yes, I chose Momose because I didn't feel like creating a new character... I'll explain later.

The prologue was about the myth of soul mates, from Plato, that suggests that at the beginning, humans were some sorts of "two persons being" that were separated, and our other half is our soul mate. That's why we don't feel complete until we find our other half. It's not particularly relevant to the story, but I'm sure you realize soul mates are bound to be reunited :)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I'll try to update weekly, I might publish the next chapters in pairs because they kind of go together.


	4. The whole world seems empty

**Chapter 3**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

The Whole World Seems Empty

"It's gonna be okay," she kept repeating to herself, while concentrating on her breathing exercises. "Shooting will only take two or three hours and we might not even talk," she was completely capable of acting normally.

She looked at the time on her phone. There were only ten minutes left before the beginning of set up. She was taking part in a charity, to which she knew, of course, _they_ would also be invited, _together_. She couldn't have refused, despite her fear of meeting with him. After all, it was for a good cause, her fans were counting on her. And then she knew she would have to face him one day or the other. It was already a miracle that she had succeeded in avoiding him all this time. She had been psychologically preparing herself for several days. She had memorized words of encouragement and congratulations that she intended to recite as if it was not important, in a tone precisely calculated to hide her emotion.

She wouldn't mean any of it.

Once she had accepted the implications of the information that had made her so distressed, she'd quickly gotten used to the idea that she was definitively, irreparably, madly jealous.

The fury she had deployed before, to get rid of those feelings, had a bitter resonance; now that all the emotions she had stubbornly repressed for years were exploding in her face. She should have known that meeting someone was a natural thing for others and therefore, for him too. How long before they became the hot topic in the press had they actually been a couple? No, she couldn't allow herself to even think about it. The matter drove her completely insane.

The truth was that ever since she had realized she was jealous, she could no longer keep herself from hoping for all that she had run from with all her might in the previous years. All the moments that they had shared were vividly coming back to her and it was practically impossible to quiet the small, selfish voices in the depths of her heart telling her that it should have been her. More and more often she caught herself thinking about him and she sometimes got lost in hoping that in another world, in another life, maybe, she would be reunited with him…

How stupid.

She had even clumsily let out an ambiguous allusion in one of her interviews. It was pitiful; he would probably not even ever read it, but, against all reason, she couldn't help but think that something did not fit. To the detriment of her common sense, her memories were now tainted with romantic colors. Against any logic she knew that, in her heart, there had never been a place for anyone other than him, a place where he should have belonged.

The two celebrities that occupied her thoughts were nevertheless a perfect match. Their getting together had been a dream story for all the fans and, after their romance was revealed, a wind of magic had blown on the world of showbiz. A wind that had frozen the blood in her veins.

This was not normal. "He has always been there for _you_. He's _your_ prince… It was for _you_ that he acted as a fairy. It was _you_, he entrusted his precious treasure to." That was what the tiny voices, gloomily hovering around the monstrous box, were continually repeating.

She knew all too well that all this was only in her head though; he'd chosen not to tell her anything. When she'd understood, she had tried to give him a chance to tell her who he was.

He'd kept his secret. She had not insisted.

She would soon have to get back to the set. She had dropped the people she was chatting with at least five full minutes before, rushing to the bathroom, without a word, stiff as a board.

"LME's rising star, prostrated on a toilet seat, like a beginner having stage fright, while everyone else is getting ready," she groaned. "What a nice picture!"

She had crossed paths with Momose just a couple of days before and had taken the occasion to congratulate her. Momose had thanked her, blushing, and then asked with concern if she was okay. Momose really was a wonderful person, she was classy and very generous. She was always mindful of others. Maybe she'd suspected. What if she'd talked to him about it?

Well, of course, Momose did not come by herself to the charity event. When she saw the two of them entering the studio holding hands, she had panicked. And that was how she ended up hiding in the restroom. She wondered if he'd noticed her. She must have turned all red. She was so ashamed.

He was so attractive.

Her memory diverted to that very morning. That morning, exactly ten months before.

She had gotten used to spending most of her free time with him, by that time, and when they couldn't meet they would call each other.

She'd thought she had control over the situation. She had long since understood her feelings and had conscientiously confined them back inside the box. She had even been able to ask for his assistance on a kissing scene the year before, after she had succeeded in rebuilding her defenses, and that had been no easy task. She only kept the memories that were useful for her interpretation; she had laboriously put all the unwelcome feelings back under the locks.

When she felt in danger she added some distance, but she always ended up missing him, and she never knew how not to return to him. All in all, she couldn't live without him. She had thought that after surviving his 'romantic scene' coaching she could take anything, whatever happened, but she had been sadly mistaken. And that one morning... That was the moment she understood his true secret. Not his true identity, no. She had found out the name of its parents during the shooting of "Tragic Marker", and it had made no difference for her. Ah, no difference! How wrong had she been. Why did she not see it sooner? He'd told her he was hiding his real eyes and hair color, it should have been obvious. She should have seen it, but she'd never suspected anything.

So stupid!

Certainly it had been a self-preservation mechanism that had allowed her conscience to ignore this fatal hypothesis for so long.

It was, therefore, that morning that she recognized him. She had not been able to dismiss this last flagrant clue.

It was an off day. She had come to his place for dinner the night before, as she often did then, and had stayed for the night, something that had become banal. When she woke she found him sitting nonchalantly on his sofa. He smiled at her, as if there was nothing wrong, as if all was normal, but there was something radically different. All the pieces of the puzzle that already were in her mind had slowly gotten together: There he was, in front of her, with eyes greener than green.

It was him.

The man of her dreams.

She could never resist that.

She picked up her bag and stood up. It did not matter how much she regretted it. Had she not fled at that very moment, it probably wouldn't have changed anything. Momose was much prettier, more talented and worthy than herself. Those two had known each other for a long time, who knew for how long they had been seeing each other.

"It's only natural he fell in love with her, he was not going to stay alone all his life. If he has to be with someone else, might as well be her," she said, as if to convince herself.

She pushed the door, still trying to persuade her heart that she was not craving to get him back, he was never hers to begin with.

She spotted him as soon as she got out. He was right in front of her.

He watched her calmly, as if he had been expecting her.

She started walking towards him, working on a natural smile.

* * *

Author's note : still grateful for Orietta Rose's help: as it's been noted, she's doing a wonderful job in making my translation easier to read.

Thank you for your nice comments! I hope the rest of the story won't be a disappointment. I'm sorry for making you sad, but it's just the vibe I get from them, and I wanted to focus on emotions (I think I'm able to portray sad emotions because those are ones I definitely know about…). I promise things will get better (not right now, but it will), I hope I don't suck at it, I'd feel bad if I wasn't able to give you enough consolation after all that...

I have a passion for mythology (and I'm most familiar with the one from ancient Greece), that's why Plato's myth came to my mind wile I was writing this. Actually I didn't put everything from the manga in here (for instance I just realized I totally left out the fact that Kyouko should have a manager already), but I felt it was important to get rid of Ren's issues and to get Sho out of the way, so that I could focus on the longing. I don't want to ruin the surprise about my plans for the confession, but rest assured, there will be a flashback about that kiss (and even a dream with a fantasy). If it makes you feel any better for not being able to understand French, let me tell you I made some changes in the coming chapters that might make this translation a little better than my French version. And yes, several months have passed between Kyouko running away and Ren dating Momose (how could he, otherwise?).

So, now you know why she distanced herself from him, I didn't want to make things explicit but maybe you noticed, there were small clues in the first two chapters...

I decided to publish this early because chapter 197 put me in a good mood :) next chapter will be up soon.


	5. The whole world seems empty (2)

**Chapter 4**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

The Whole World Seems Empty (2)

- "You two are such a beautiful couple! It was so nice to find out that the two of you were happy together."

He lowered his gaze, while thinking of their conversation, a couple of hours earlier.

- "I know I should have properly congratulated you a long time ago, it was not very correct of me, but I have been pretty busy…"

She had glided toward them with assurance. He had been intensely staring at her, ready to explain to her, at last, the true reasons of their secret arrangement. Her knowing the truth had always been part of the plan, he would never have accepted becoming involved in this comedy without that condition. The president had declared that he would take care of informing her, but after their encounter, the eccentric man had not let anything out, he had just said there was "no point". Momose, who had talked to her just a few days before, had not been able to judge what she knew and he had not been able to speak to her directly; she was still avoiding his calls and arranging to never be in the same place as him at the same time. That night, she had not been able to avoid it. He'd quickly understood that she knew nothing of the real nature of their relationship and that she didn't care to know anything.

She believed in their masquerade and, quite obviously, she was not bothered by it. She had congratulated him with such liveliness that his heart was still sour. She seemed so sincere while encouraging them.

She had blabbered on about princess dresses, butterflies, diamonds and a fairytale wedding. Was she really rejoicing in the thought that he might marry another?

The evening had been really depressing.

Of course he was glad to finally see her and that she was so cheerful. He had been waiting for such a long time to be able to talk to her, but even if he only wished for her happiness, he had not expected such indifference from her. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. He wanted to hold her, dive his face in the nape of her neck... The frustration was unbearable. After all they had shared, had she not been, even in the slightest, jealous?

And then there was this strange thing that she said, just before that they were interrupted.

She was now paying her respects to the team and he looked at her, with a heavy soul, as she was getting ready to leave the room.

He was waiting for his companion, who was getting changed, to drop her off on the way to his own place. Momose had been very understanding, as always. Several times in the conversation she had tried to attract the shorter girl's attention to the fact that they had something to tell her, but she had not been interested. She was obviously not feeling concerned at all; that was probably what the president had meant by "no point". She just didn't care. At all.

He sighed.

Before leaving the set, as she was putting her coat back on, she quickly scanned the room and soberly waved at him when she saw him. He nodded, trying to remain as neutral as he could be. Then she left, carefree, laughing with her friends.

While his eyes followed the frail silhouette vanishing down the corridor, her disrupting words from before came back to him.

- "Are you feeling closer to your dream, now that you are going back abroad?"

She said that with a thoughtful air, as if she knew all that it meant for him. He'd felt the same kind of atmosphere during the last hours she'd spent in his apartment and she'd almost used the same phrase.

That day, her mind had seemed elsewhere. He'd wondered if something had changed; if that was the case he'd not had any idea of what that could be. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened the evening before. Or so he'd thought.

What had he done? He had spent the whole morning dwelling on his feelings, wondering if her unusual behaviour was some sort of sign. Because she was so uncomfortable he'd hesitated to reveal his love for her and had changed his mind when she asked him a question that completely caught him off guard.

She had asked him what "his biggest dream" was. There were two possible answers: Confessing that she was his biggest dream, which would certainly destroy any chance he might have with her, or explaining his project to return to the United States as international star to be reunited with his parents, finally flying on his own out of his father's hands. In both cases he would have been revealing a piece of his soul that he was not ready to show her, a piece he did not think she was willing to see. He could already picture her turning her back on him, never to return again. The closer he got to her, the harder it had been for him to keep these two secrets from her, but he'd been afraid. He had, therefore, that morning, given her a stereotyped response about wanting to be acknowledged as an actor and being able to bring happiness to the audience.

He had chickened out because of his anxiety over the thought of losing her, yet his biggest fear had nonetheless become reality.

He should have told her.

She had remained silent for several minutes, before telling him that her dream was to be independent.

Things had almost gone back to normal until she decided to leave. As she was tying her shoes, she said that she would get home by her own means and that she no longer needed a mentor. She had then thanked him for all his help and apologized for having been a burden to him, adding that she hoped she could work with him soon, as his equal. She was smiling calmly when she closed the door.

Under the shock he had not even tried to stop her. How he regretted it now.

He should have told her!

After that, contact became rare. She stopped taking his calls and so he stopped calling. And now…

Was it really too late now?

How could she so precisely refer to his true ambition? Why use the words "going back abroad"? No, that was not the most peculiar part, it was this dreamy look she had while pronouncing these words. Was it this look that the journalist had noticed when she said he was "not from this world"?

When he'd read those words, he had been convinced for an instant that this was her way of letting him know she'd figured everything out. For a few seconds he had felt the urge to become himself again and rush to her to apologize, to confess, grow inside him.

He had quickly changed his mind though. Such actions would have been totally impulsive and unproductive. He could not crush all of his efforts just for an illusory dream; he wasn't even sure of anything. He didn't know how to think clearly when she was involved. Everything was a mess in his head.

Had she recognized him? That meant he was the man of her dreams, but that also meant she knew very well he really was from this world. Or then… Was he his own competitor? This thought brought him back to sanity. He was still letting his desires fool him. It was impossible that she would share his feelings. Regardless, those doubts were coming back, crashing inside his brain. Those words she said… That mysterious look… His flesh wanted, more than ever, to run toward her. He was ready to give up everything he had worked for, on a simple sign from her.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and raised his eyes to Momose, compassionately looking at him. He smiled softly at her and collected his things to leave with her. He envied her. She was in love and loved in return. She was able to freely live her romance, thanks to their arrangement. She was a good woman and he was glad he could be of help for her. This whole thing had been rather positive for both their careers, and it didn't cost him anything now that he had given up on pursuing his own love. He had nothing to regret on that matter. Their contract was nearing its end anyway. He was about to leave, less than two months from now, and would probably never return to Japan. It would all be over soon.

He got up and walked with her to the exit, holding her waist.

As he did every night since they got "together", he was about to secretly drop her off at her girlfriend's place.

* * *

Credits to Orietta Rose for beta reading.

Author's note : As I said before, I chose Momose for this role that is essential to the story, because I didn't feel like introducing a new character (since I intended to focus on emotions) and mostly because I wanted it to be someone who knows and cares about the special relationship between those two. I obviously needed her to be a little different, though. Please forgive me for using her this way, I like her and I don't think this is insulting, that's why I took the liberty.

Now, I realize this is probably not the kind of interaction you were hoping for, sorry to disappoint you again and sorry for not showing it, but making the anticipation grow is kind of the point (maybe I'm being a little bit of a sadist, but really, I blame it on the characters!). Now things will only get better (it'll still take some time, but the next couple of chapters will have treats for you).

Next chapters will be posted in pairs (I think you and them have suffered enough) so make sure you don't click straight on the last one, then, if you don't want to miss anything.


	6. Out of mind?

**Chapter 5**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

Out of mind? 

_Setsuka softly kissed her beloved brother's smooth, hot skin. Losing herself in this kiss, invaded by his smell, she felt that she was going to disappear. The limit between her and the actress was getting thinner and thinner. Setsuka's emotions didn't belong to her anymore; there was nothing sisterly about this love... Those pectoral muscles under her fingers, his blood pulsing under her lips, the hand he had slipped through her hair, the look he had given her... They were stimuli that had awakened her carnal desires. She'd finally understood how much she had dreamed of seeing him like that, vulnerable under her hold. In that moment she felt all-powerful and it turned her on. This time, she had no will to flee; even less did she have any intention of letting him escape._

_She raised her face and saw him close his eyes. She lost control and yielded to her craving. Slowly she moved closer to him, inch by inch. She put her lips on his and time seemed to stop. She instantly regretted having done that; she was abandoning herself to personal feelings, right in the middle of a role that absolutely did not justify this kind of behavior, but his lips were so soft… She didn't budge. She put her hands on his shoulders and continued to kiss him. If she had to single out one man she'd be allowed to kiss in her life, it had to be this man. To her great surprise, he began to kiss her back. He leaned on his side, so that they both ended up laying down and took her firmly in his arms without breaking their kiss. She tightened the hold of her hands behind his neck. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time when she felt his tongue slide into her mouth._

_How had they gotten themselves into this position? A brother and a sister could not be doing this, should not be doing this. None of it mattered. He was already undoing the laces of her corset._

She jumped awake. One of these cursed dreams again! What had she done to deserve that?

It had not gone that way at all in reality; her subconscious seemed to be trying to rewrite history.

When she was acting as Setsuka, three years earlier, she did in fact almost lose to her feelings. Having the right to touch this well-built chest had lit a voracious flame inside of her that had annihilated all her modesty.

She'd sucked on his neck, overcome by her own desire to posses him and then, right when she was about lose to her emotions, like she did in the dream, the real Cain had acted like the playboy that he was and Setsuka had returned. The dangerous mission had followed its course as if nothing had happened. Only her private life was shaken by this event; that was when she started having those horrible, wrong, awful, shameful dreams.

She was staring at the ceiling of her darkened room. It had been two weeks since the president had summoned her to his office to give her information she did not know what to do with. The charity had been an ordeal, but it had helped her to get a hold of herself. She had succeeded in making everyone believe that she was rejoicing and since she knew he was about to leave Japan, probably forever, she had begun to feel safe again. She'd gotten used to the pain of his absence and hoped it might be easier with the distance.

Why, then, had the president been so anxious to tell her these incomprehensible things? And why at that very moment? There he was, claiming that she was supposed to be informed right from the beginning, but upon meeting her he'd thought it would be less interesting to tell her. He'd said he was sorry not to have revealed anything earlier, but he thought that it was essential that she know, considering the turn of events.

He didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

What did he mean the wrong idea? It was now that she was getting ideas that were obviously wrong, all because of this so-called truth that didn't make any sense. Her nights were haunted with dreams of her past, of scenes that started like real moments they had lived, but with alternate endings and all of them the same: He either told her who he was and she cried from the joy of having him back or her dream would take a totally indecent path. Luckily, she sometimes woke before it turned out that way.

It wasn't the first time she'd had those kinds of dreams, she used to be able to get rid of them with a blink of her eyes when she woke up, but recently…

After she had decided to distance herself from him, those dreams had become more and more erotic and, once she realized she was jealous, she would find tears in her eyes every morning. Now she no longer knew what to think. The world as she knew it was upside down.

"He thought about it for a long time before he accepted, he wanted to have your opinion. He would have told you, had you picked up your phone… He always wanted you to know, it was his only condition to help Momose with this," the president had said.

Why should he even care whether she knew or not? Was it out of gratitude that he did not want to lie to her? He had hidden other important things from her. She knew that he thought she had helped him to accept himself, but she didn't really understand why; he had no reason to despise himself, anybody could have shown him that much. Nevertheless he said several times that it was all thanks to her.

That thought made her blush. She'd thought she understood him, but perhaps she'd been completely wrong? She realized that she had no idea of what was really going on inside his head. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. She regretted that she had fled, but in reality there were so many things that she didn't grasp.

What could she do about it? What would she look like, if she was to go, now, see him? To tell him she loved him?

It was still dark. She threw an eye on her alarm clock, it was just after four thirty. She turned around in her bed, grumbling. She wanted to see him so badly, to speak to him. She missed him so much. She was exhausted and she wanted to understand! She was even ready to… She almost wanted to allow herself to believe… She'd abandoned herself to those feelings of longing that she had refused to let in, during those unending months.

A memory soon invaded her mind. Almost two years had passed since a scene of "Box R" had brought her to put herself in this dangerous position: Natsu was going to have to develop her seductive capacities and she needed advice. She had thought about it for days before going to him for help, and finally she had taken the risk. This must have been nothing for him, he had not seemed to hesitate for a single second. The minute she became Natsu she saw some kind of uncontrolled desire seize his traits. It was terribly scary to see him act so convincingly.

He had fallen on her to kiss her with all of his strength. She had held him in her arms, soon forgetting her role; she'd pressed herself against him. She had explored his body, all of it. Even the most unmentionable parts.

He'd unbuttoned her clothes and caressed her skin. She still remembered the sensation of his hands on her breasts and between her legs. That night, they had embraced each other; they had kissed just like a real couple.

She had almost believed, she had almost given up, allowed herself to love him, and told him everything…

There was practically nothing to change in this memory for it to match her fantasies. In fact, after that incident those damned dreams had only gotten worse. She'd stopped when she had seen her own hand in a completely inappropriate place; she'd been prepared to undo his pants. They had remained silent for a few minutes, painfully disentangling themselves and, taking a breath, he had congratulated her on her acting. The only thing she'd want to change in this memory, the only thing that her subconscious would rewrite in that moment when she remembered it, was the sentence that had so strongly sounded in her head, so strongly that she had feared he would hear it.

"I stopped acting long ago."

In her dreams she said it aloud. Then they went back to, well… That was all there was to change, in any case.

Unable to get rid of the images and persistent sensations, she closed her eyes and slipped a hand inside her shorts.

* * *

Credit to Orietta Rose for beta reading.

Author's note : So, this is the 2nd half of the story, it's supposed to compensate for the tortured 1st half. I hope you understand we're getting to the good part now, you'll just need to be a little more patient... and chapters come in pairs now.

I'm glad the latest chapter was to your liking and you understood my decision with Momose. This situation was my first idea for this story (I wanted to get Kyouko jealous, for a change, but how else could Ren engage in a relationship?) and I felt it would be too much work to imagine a character, have her get to know them and all that (plus I don't think I would have been good in writing something of the kind)... So I had the idea to use an existing character, and that allowed me to concentrate on the narration rather than explaining the whole situation.

Thank you so much for your encouraging reviews :3 you've been so nice! I guess I raised the bar pretty high on expectations, now I really hope my ending is good enough.


	7. Out of mind? (2)

**Chapter 6**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

Out of mind? (2)

_He had not hesitated a single second. She had come to him of __her own volition __asking him to kiss her; perhaps it __would be the only time in his life he would get such a chance. He knew what to do. One chaste kiss, maybe a light caress. No tongue, at least __not right away. He was more than ready to help her. He would help her as many times as she thought __necessary. _

_The moment she was immersed in her role he stopped __thinking. He placed his hands on her waist and brought __her closer to him. He kissed her in that moment, as if he was a death raw prisoner that had just been granted a last wish. _

_She'd __opened her mouth and he had plunged his tongue inside. _

_Already more than satisfied, he was about to move away when she discreetly put her hands around his neck. He came even closer to her and continued to kiss her passionately; she pressed herself against him. They separated for only a fraction of a second __to catch their breaths, and almost immediately each pulled __the other back to eagerly crush their lips again. _

_Without realizing it __he slid a hand under her skirt that climbed up on her thigh and she mimicked his audacity, taking him by the waist beneath his __clothes. She was soon lifting up his shirt and sweater altogether to reveal skin __that she recklessly caressed._

_They lost track of time. He pulled her towards the couch and they looked in each others __eyes when they fell on the cushions. He couldn't believe he was in this situation with her, half-naked __in her arms facing this look of a predator._

_It was time to put an end to the __sequence, it __was going too far. He was forced to notice that she absolutely did not need any help with this type __of situation._

_He softly caressed her chin. She suddenly closed her eyes and kissed him again, without withholding, caressing his back and… His ass? What should he do? He was hard already and she was pushing him. He had to make her __understand that he was a man and for him this kiss, if one could still call it __a kiss, was not __practice._

_He slid his hand down __the length of her backbone until reaching __the hollow above her bottom, and gently pressed her body against him. _

_He was slightly __embarrassed, but she needed to understand._

_He pressed her groin to__ his erect shaft, concentrating so as not to groan at the contact. _

_Against any expectation, her reaction was inconceivable. She scarcely paused __and smiled against his lips, never stopping their feverish kiss. She wound a leg around his hips._

_The hell with restrictions, he couldn't hold it any more. He distanced himself from her upper body to have enough access to it and began caressing her; she was hanging on to his arms. He unbuttoned her blouse and took a breast in one of his hands. She deepened the kiss and they continued fondling __each other this way for a long time._

_It was __as if the world was nearing its end and this was the last thing they would ever do. _

_He was all over her. She tensed the leg that was on his hip and __began to rub herself against him; when he started slowly moving his hips, she moaned. He caressed the inside of her thighs. _

_He had no doubt he'd be damned to hell for this, but he wanted it badly._

_Painfully, he realized that she was even more serious than himself __in the exploration of his intimate parts. A shy, small hand had begun caressing his member._

_Afraid he might lose her forever, he broke the kiss. She moved her face as if to follow him, but __froze when __she seemed to understand the reason for his discomfort._

A rapid breathing could be heard in the luxurious bathroom's vast shower. Discreet moaning was barely covering the sound of a quickening friction.

_She had reddened and lowered her face. He slowly loosened his embrace, silently cursing himself. He'd been __going for a chaste kiss._

_She had not hatefully slapped him, she had not jumped and hid behind the couch, she had not yelled an __incoherent apology, nor rolled on the ground. She lifted her hand, skimming his trunk. She slowly withdrew her leg and she started closing her blouse without saying anything. He started reaching for her face, hesitating to lay his hand on her cheek. Was he allowed to?_

Right there. That was one of the biggest regrets of his life. Whenever he thought of this moment, it was there that he imagined he had acted differently. He'd touch her face and she kissed him again. He didn't even need to imagine a more sexual outcome. He put a hand against the shower wall, feeling his climax grow nearer.

All he needed was to imagine that this scene was real, that this was not Natsu.

_She had finally raised her eyes in his direction and, without looking at him, murmured what resembled a laborious thank you. They sat up and he was the one who finally broke the silence. To reassure her, he said, still shivering, that her interpretation was completely persuasive, and that she probably had experienced all that she would need for her scene. She had remained silent for a while as if she was thinking._

_The words she had said next had broken his heart._

He aimed the water at the semen that soiled the wall of his shower and finished washing. He then cut the water and got out to get ready. His gaze stopped on the small plastic case by the washbasin and he hesitated.

He wasn't sure. Would she remember?

He decided not to wear his colored lenses. He started the coffee, and choose comfortable clothing from his wardrobe. He was feeling like a teenager getting ready for his very first date; it was not far from the truth.

He paid attention to every detail of his appearance. He wouldn't have missed this date for anything in the world. In only a couple of hours she would be close to him. He drank his coffee, watching time pass, incapable of thinking about anything but her.

They'd met few days before. He didn't believe in the randomness of the encounter, for his manager had been behaving suspiciously all day long, and had led them on a detour; a necessity he understood when it had brought them on her path.

She was visibly disturbed at seeing him, she did not seem to be as confident as she had been at the charity weeks earlier. She had vaguely agreed to honor his last request, to have a last drink with him, and celebrate his departure.

They were going to meet at eleven in a small coffee shop. He smiled sadly. She was finally agreeing to see him again, right when he was about to leave the country.

_"You were so much better than me, as usual! You controlled the whole scene again," she had finally mumbled that night, as she was rearranging her clothes, after they shared their first and only kiss._

He hadn't had the strength to contradict her, it was surreal. Did she really think he was able to fake such a thing? And what about her, had she really been pretending? He would soon find out. The time to hold back was long since over, more hesitation was out of the question. It was much too late to underestimate that girl.

This date was his last chance. He had nothing to lose, nothing to hide. He intended to apologize for his mistakes, to ask for forgiveness if he'd ever unintentionally hurt her, and to declare his eternal love for her.

He knew he might be about to lose her forever and he owed it to her.

Starting with the truth.

His truth.

Their truth.

* * *

Credit to Orietta Rose for beta reading : I felt my translation for these last chapters needed big improvement, and your corrections there gave me the feeling that you totally got the flow I was going for! Thanks for doing so good ^^

Author's note : Next two chapters are meant to be the resolution, I hope it will not disappoint you.


	8. Close to heart

**Chapter 7**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

Close to heart

_Exterior / day - A coffee terrace. There are few customers._

_(A girl is sitting by herself at a table for two. She's nervously taping her nails on the edge of the table. A young man approaches her without attracting her attention. He stays behind her for a minute, watching __her, smiling. He sits opposite her and she raises her eyes to him.)_

- So…

- Ah! _(She stares at him.)_ Hello, Mr. Tsuruga. _(She lowers her eyes, looking somewhat disappointed.) _Then this is it, this time, this is the big send-off.

- It's good to see you. _(He takes his sun glasses off.)_

- _(She raises her eyes)_ Yes. _(She smiles, apparently more satisfied.) _It's been a while.

- It's been too long…

- _(She looks away)_ So, you wanted to talk to me? _(The young man opens his mouth but no word comes out.)_ Is this about Momose?

-Well yes, but not onl-

- _(Hurriedly)_ The president told me that Momose was…

- …

- Hum… Homosexual and that she was having an affair that she wanted to keep a secret, _(the flow of words speeds little by little)_ with an older woman, and that she had asked you to cover for her for a few months.? _(Her face is flushed and she seems breathless.)_

- That's about it.

- _(Slowly.)_ He said that it was his idea and he offered it after the filming of Dark Moon.

- It's true. He thought it would be good for my image.

- …

- …

_(A waiter comes to take their order)_

- …

- …

- _(Quietly.)_ Is it… _(She hesitates. He looks at her questioningly.)_ This… I mean…

- …?

- Because you… well, I mean, was it because… You also, you-

- _(Startled) _Me?!

- You can tell me… _(Tense.)_ It wouldn't change anything fo-

- I am not gay. No. Don't get me wrong, this is something perfectly natural, and if I was I would feel no shame, but I can assure you and I want you to know _(he leans on the table to get closer __and looks at her)_ that I am not - at all - gay!

- _(She looks a little more relaxed.)_ Hah! _(Her eyes become vague.) _That was silly! _(She smiles.)_ I thought… Hmm, well I'm sorry, but it's just, it's nothing shameful after all. Then I figured… Well, it is true there was never any gossip about you, and since Momose, well… hmm…. Becaus-

- I am not homosexual, Miss Mogami. _(The two remain silent for a moment. They avoid looking in each others __eyes. The girl seems to be trying to contain a wider smile.)_

- …

- …

- Did, _(hesitating)_ why did you refuse after Dark Moon?

- At that moment, I had other worries.

- …

- …

- _(She frowns,)_

- What is it?

- Why did you change your mind?

- Let's say, _(thoughtful)_ lately, I've had fewer worries.

_(The waiter brings them a coffee and a tea)_

- Humm… _(Lower)_ there's something I still don't understand.

- Tell me?

- The president said something–

- …

- He said _(even lower)_ that you wanted me to know?

- Yes. That's true.

- But, _(barely audible)_ why just me?

- Well… Here we are. _(Their eyes meet, and both of them look the other way,)_ There's a lot of things I want to say to you. _(Nervous,)_ Where to begin? _(He looks behind her,)_ You are my precious talisman _(he smiles painfully) _and I didn't want to lie to you.

- That's not true.

- …

- …

- How's that?

- _(She's not smiling anymore.)_ You've been lying to me for four years.

- …

- Or was this for fourteen years? _(She __holds his stare.)_ Corn?

* * *

_Exterior / day - Same setting._

_(The protagonists are having an agitated conversation, their cups are empty.)_

- You don't even remember that you were not wearing your contacts?

- No, I… _(embarrassed)_ I had not realized, but if you say so. It's been an off day. I suppose it's possible. _(He rubs his temples,)_ And ever since that day… All that time… _(Sigh,)_ Yet, you knew I was wearing contacts, even before.

- Knowing and seeing are two different things. That morning, it was as if I saw you for the first time. _(A single tear rolls on her cheek.)_ After all these years.

- _(He raises a hand toward __her, seems to think better of it, and backs down.)_

- _(She's staring at her feet.)_ I thought that, for you, those memories, were just acting practice.

- _(Strongly.)_ It wasn-

- And I thought that was why you didn't tell me anything.

- I-

- I thought, for you, none of it ever even mattered and that I must have looked ridiculous.

- How-

- But the hardest thing _(in a whisper)_ was to try and get the box to close again…

- …?

* * *

_Exterior / day – An alley of cherry trees in a park._

_(The protagonists are walking side by side. They are keeping a reasonable distance between them.)_

- Shooting begins in a little less than two weeks. I'll be leaving two days before that.

- How long will it last?

- Five to seven months, for my character.

- _(Sigh.)_

_(He comes to a halt. She walks a couple more steps.)_

- Kyouko. _(She jumps lightly. She stops and turns towards him_.) Kyouko. _(She stays still. He comes close to her and takes her hand.)_ I need to let you know. _(He comes closer.)_ I will not leave and let you believe that all that was insignificant to me. _(He moves closer still.)_ You were the one who brought me back to my passion. Through your dreams, your innocence, you spread your magic into my life. You allowed me to hang on, Kyouko, when I felt like I had nothing. _(He places his forehead against hers.)_

- _(With a very small voice.)_ You said my name three times.

- And I will say it again. I will say it all my life, if you let me.

-…

- I want you to know that meeting you was one of my most cherished memories. _(He squeezes her hand in his.)_ The only ones that surpass it are the ones that I built with you in recent years, after you came back into my life.

- …

- You are my most important person, _(he places her hand on his heart)_ and I curse myself for not telling you before. Those months far from you were torture.

-…

-…

- For me to-

-I love you.

* * *

Credits go to Orietta Rose for beta reading : I'll never thank you enough ;)

Author's note : I agree their lack of confidence in themselves is the biggest obstacle they have to overcome, even in the manga. Also, the fact they have to pretend all the time is surely not helping... And yes, he did intend to tell her _everything _but she knew most of it already (she was only missing this very important bit of information).

Now, the cat is finally out of the box. This story will be over soon, thanks for enduring with me. I'm sorry for dragging it on for so long, but it just seemed so _Skip Beat!_ to me, I couldn't help it!


	9. Close to heart (2)

**Chapter 8**

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

Close to heart (2)

_Exterior / day – An alley of cherry trees, in a park._

_(The protagonists are standing and facing one another, forehead against forehead. The young man is holding the __girl's __hand against his heart.)_

- I love you.

_(They do not move and people begin to look at them.)_

- I love you, Kyouko. _(She does not react. He breathes in.)_ I love you because you are luminous. I love you because you are strong and independent, I love you because you are beautiful, because you are spontaneous and sincere, I love you because-

- _(Murmurs)_ That's enough…

- I promise that I love you, Kyouko, and I know that I will love you forever.

- _(Murmurs)_ This is ridiculous, you could have anyo-

- _(Murmurs)_ The one I love is you. I'm in love with you, Kyouko.

- _(Murmurs)_ You're obviously not feeling well…

- I've never seen things so clearly. Can't you feel how my heart is beating?

- _(Trembling)_ Don't say such stupid things. We're just good friends, aren't we?

- _(Sigh)_ Then this is the truth…

- What?

- You feel nothing for me.

_(She takes a step back, looking shocked.)_

- _(He lets go of her hand.)_ Nothing more than friendship?

-...

- You felt nothing, that night? You were really acting?

- …

- Kyouko, please answer me. _(She slightly shakes her head.)_ I just need to be sure. You can tell me anything, you know, I just wanted to tell you the truth before I left. I'm so sorry. _(He stokes her cheek.)_ I'm so scared to lose you…

- Enough.

- I'm sorry. I've been fighting these feelings for the last four years, I know I don't deserve to ha-

- Enough.

- Okay. I'm sorry I pressed you. I'll do what you want. I know you hate this feeling, I just -

- Enough!

- …

- I hate this feeling, yes, I hate this position, and you know what? _(She lowers her head.)_ Sometimes I feel like hating you.

- I understand.

- No you don't! You don't understand anything! I've been living in fear for the last four years and that's because of you! Because with you, I never know to what expect.

- (S_tartled.)_You're saying that…

- Or rather, I do know… I know that I can always expect the worst!

- What are yo-

- Because you crushed all my defenses, over and over again. You are worse than tsunamis and earthquakes.

- …?

- Because whatever you do, I know it's too late already. And _(She takes a step towards him.)_ I'm so scared to believe. _(She puts __her__ hands on his chest.)_ I just can't believe! _(Her voice begins wavering.)_ I don't deserve someone like you and you're saying it's the opposite! This is absurd. This is impossible!

- The only thing that you need to know is how you feel. _(He closes his eyes.)_ It's also the only thing that I want to know.

- Idiot. _(She huddles against him, he puts his arms around her.)_ Why are you even asking such stupid questions?

- Because with you, I never know what to expect. _(He holds her tighter.)_

- Who could not love you? _(She shudders.)_

- Answer me _(He tries to catch her eyes.)_ Please, Kyouko.

* * *

_Exterior / day - Same setting._

_(The protagonists are silently embracing, their eyes are closed. People passing by are insistently looking at them and whispering. The young man strokes the girl's back, she raises her hands to his neck, touching __the hair there. She takes a deep breath and raises her face toward __his. Their noses brush. He places his hands on her waist and parts __his lips. The girl hesitates; she opens her eyes, looks at him, and closes them again. She __stands on __the tip of her toes __and skims her lips over the young man's. He squeezes her in his arms and kisses her back.)_

* * *

_Exterior / end of day - Same setting._

_(The protagonists are kissing tenderly. People are gathering and some of them are taking pictures.)_

- _(Between kisses,)_ Tsur… _(He gives her a sharp look.)_

- You did not just start saying that name. _(He kisses her.)_

- Hmm. _(Blushing.)_ Kuon… _(She slightly moves away.)_

- Kyouko… _(He delicately replaces a lock of hair behind her ear.)_

- We shouldn't stay here.

- Mmmm… Yes. _(He kisses her.)_

- People are staring.

- You didn't answer. _(He kisses her.)_

- Kuon… _(He kisses her.) _This is embarrassing.

- _(He kisses her again, smiling.)_ Then just answer me.

- Kuon… _(He kisses her.) _Corn… _(He kisses her.) _Ren… _(She moves back.)_ If I have the right to, there's no question. As long as you want me, I'd have to be crazy, Kuon… Of course I lov- _(He kisses her.)_

* * *

Credit to Orietta Rose for beta reading.

Author's note : sorry for cutting her confession short, I figured some of you were expecting it, but I like it this way. All that's left now is the epilogue (and _yes_, it takes place in an apartment, hehe), I'll put it up soon!

Thanks to those who followed, faved or commented on this work, I didn't expect to have such nice responses (my French version didn't get much, probably because I published it all at once), so they made me happy!

I was a little bit anxious in delivering those chapters to you, I hope they are comforting enough. I tried to write this story in a way that would appeal to the readers' imagination, while staying as close as possible to the original characters. Since the plot didn't always go the way I wanted it to, I was more attentive to the narration style and construction, so as to focus on emotions. If I at least managed to get them through to you, then I reached my goal!

Chapter titles were French sayings : "Un seul être vous manque et le monde est dépeuplé." and "Loin des yeux, loin du cœur."


	10. Epilogue

Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

Epilogue

They'd thrown themselves at each other as soon as the small apartment's door had been closed.

"I missed you so much!"

She didn't say anything in reply, satisfied to simply be removing his coat, and kissed him again. She hurriedly attacked the remainder of his clothes, softly caressing every inch of skin thus discovered.

Feverishly, he also began to undress her, and they quickly moved to the bedroom, scattering garments on their way. When they fell on the covers, they were already half-naked.

They remained there for an instant, silently smiling at each other, appreciating the simple sink-on-skin contact. He slid his hand from her hips to her face and they started all over again.

She pulled him to her and plunged her tongue into his mouth, not meeting any resistance.

He moved a hand into her panties, to her ass and grumbled when she began caressing him over his boxers.

There were only ten days between the day that they had been reunited and Kuon's departure for New Zealand. Because of their loaded schedules, they had been able to see each other only three times in this short span, and every date had finished in the same manner.

They had talked for a long while and spent each night together without sleeping, in the same light of lust and of love.

He brushed his hands along her whole body. He kissed her neck, her shoulders, her chest, with passion, while she ran her hand down his sex. He buried his face between her breasts and she let out small cries of pleasure when he lingered on a nipple. He kissed the outline of the aureole tenderly, then slipped his tongue on the small, already hardened, bud. She arched her back in pleasure and clung to his shoulders. He climbed back up, toward her mouth, still caressing her breasts with one hand, while the other found it's way to the treasure between her thighs. She jerked her head back as she felt his fingers fondle her slit through the fabric. He gently made her orgasm grow while watching her.

She twisted in pleasure, eyelids half closed, breathing deeply. She caressed his shoulders, his back, his thighs… Her expressive actions were more than welcome; she'd once been quite the prude. He found the change arousing.

Their separation seemed to have affected her, he thought, while withdrawing the small piece of lingerie. He put his fingers directly on her, approvingly noting that she was already wet.

She widened her legs to allow him better access and squeezed him strongly in her arms. He slipped in two fingers and began to massage a strategic point. She began shifting her hips and he removed his fingers, only to reintroduce them immediately. He repeated the movement until she synchronized with his hand. After a few minutes, she was shaken by spasms and finally rested her face on his shoulder, murmuring his name.

It was Christmas, she was celebrating her 21st birthday. He'd been able to get a week off from his shooting for the holidays and he surprised her, returning to spend time with her, before his professional obligations would have to pull him out of her arms again, taking him at the other side of the world.

She had spotted him right away when he entered the reception hall. She would have recognized his frame if he were one in thousands and from miles away. She'd rushed to him through the crowd and the instant their lips were reunited she had been overwhelmed by an immense desire for him.

He withdrew his hand and caressed her back as she caught her breath.

They exchanged a few words about the weather, about their careers and other trivial information, but neither was really listening. They were too concentrated on their strokes, which had never stopped, to follow the insignificant conversation.

Lying on his back, he let her remove his boxers. She straddled him and was at last able to take possession of the erection she had been obsessed with; the one that belonged only to her.

She took him in her hand with delight and he closed his eyes, moaning. She kissed his neck and accelerated her strokes, turned on by the sounds that were coming out of his mouth. He took her breasts in his hands and she raised herself lightly, so as to admire his perfect face illuminated with pleasure. He came soon and she leaned in to give him a kiss.

He hugged her close to him, as if he had wanted to melt inside of her. Their arms, their legs tangled again, and they were carried away by their senses.

Completely nude they rubbed their intimate parts in a heavenly rhythm. They could spend the entire night, giving pleasure to each other like that. They had never gone further. The few nights they had spent together had been filled with sensuality and exquisite delight without either one of them feeling the need to cross that line. They had not spoken of it, yet they had reached an unspoken agreement. They were fully satisfied with their foreplay and it seemed obvious the rest could wait until they were married.

They were far from those thoughts, in that moment. She held his hips firmly, moving her own back and forth, encouraging him to continue his movements. He was holding her waist and pressing his erection against her, imitating intercourse. She closed her arms around his back, shouting her bliss. He dropped himself to lie next to her again.

"When you come to me, this summer, I will marry you," he whispered in her ear.

"Do I get a say in this? I believe I am involved in this decision, would you be kind enough not to make it all alone?" she teased.

"Kyouko. Marry me," he said without hesitating and they resumed their activities.

"I will." She caressed his thigh, he kissed her breast. He felt he could go on till morning. "But I'm not sure I can wait that long," she added seizing his member. "I really, really want you right now," she finished in a breath.

He steadied himself for just enough time to look at her. The emperor didn't need to hear this a second time, but he had learned to moderate the emperor. A naughty smile appeared on his lips.

"And what would that mean, I beg of you, dear princess?" he asked pushing on his arms to tower over her. "Does that mean I have permission to let my most perverted fantasies run wild? And what about protection?"

"Looks like I'm a step ahead of you for once, I already did what was necessary." She lifted the dark hair that fell over his deep green gaze. "And you know very well what I mean, stop pretending, will you," she added, faking a pout. They did nothing but kiss during the minutes that followed, enjoying this instant before eternity.

A couple months earlier, after they had spent half of an afternoon kissing in a public park, pictures had been published. The press had been crazy about it until he left Japan. The true romance of Tsuruga Ren with the rising star Kyouko had gotten the papers even more excited than his fake one with Momose Itsumi. At that point Momose herself decided to come out, but her revelation had almost gone unnoticed, her career remaining unscathed. Funny thing, she had actually never intended to hide her orientations, in the first place: she later confessed that the fake romance had been requested from her by a defender of love who wanted to remain anonymous, who had asked her to play this little "trick" as a favor, promising her that "interesting things" would certainly come out of it.

The two had not made any statement, but their love was palpable to whoever was present at the airport when they seemed to be unable to separate, discreetly whispering words of love and promises of patience.

Many celebrities had then agreed to comment on the birth of their romance, most of them assuring that they had always known it was bound to happen. Amongst their friends and former colleagues Kotonami Kanae had only said that it was about time and Fuwa Sho had bitterly declared that she did deserve it. The LME president would have organized a huge party "in the name of love" had he received the permission; he said he felt so frustrated that he really intended to at least take part in the wedding preparations.

She felt the man she loved inserting his manhood inside her most sacred place. He gently pushed on the barrier, without rushing, kissing her slowly. It hadn't hurt her so far, he came out and back in a couple times like that, to prepare her. He slid his tip along her slit and then finally broke the kiss so as to watch her while he disappeared completely inside of her. She wrinkled her nose and painfully smiled at him.

They remained motionless for a moment, breathing heavily. He caressed her face and she gave him a light kiss. His hands wandered around her body, her face. She looked at him and stroked his hair, lost in the feeling of having the length of him buried inside her core. They kissed again and he began to move, moderately, drawing circles on her slit until he guessed from her relaxing features that the pain was fading.

"I love you, " he said. "I love you so much!"

"Mm, yes. I love you toooo..."

He quickened his motion when she began to moan. He had waited for this moment for so long! They were united at last.

She grabbed his shoulders and called out his name.

He never wanted to be separated from her again.

Their voices harmonized; she was so happy in that moment. Had she not been jealous, this may never have happened. Their bodies were finally one.

She had gotten used to the sensation of his member moving in her flesh and surprised herself by following his movements in a steady pace, away and back, to this place where their beings were joined.

They came together over and over again; untiringly they changed position and remained together until the break of dawn. Screams of passion resounded for a long time in the small room.

Upon a bedside table sat a monthly magazine had been mindlessly thrown there almost two months before. The cover showed two intertwined silhouettes under the cherry trees, and a title, in bold letters, stated, "Exclusive: The Whole Truth About the Romantic Fairy Tale!"

On the sheets their bodies felt like one; the mix of black and orange hair created a unique shade. They fell asleep in each others arms, both feeling like they belonged for the first time.

They shared only one breathe, one smile, one dream.

* * *

"Every one of us is thus the half of what may be properly termed a man, and like a psetta cut in two, is the imperfect portion of an entire whole, perpetually necessitated to seek the half belonging to him."

"Let no one act contrary to Eros for if we become friends and reconciled to the god, we shall find out and meet with our own favorites, which few at the moment do."

The Banquet (symposium) Plato

* * *

Last thanks to Orietta Rose for beta reading on this story!

Author's note : I totally understand how my brutal change of style for the reunion scene turned out to be a big disappointment to some of you. In fact, I feared this would happen and I knew my choice was risky, but I stand by it cause that's the kind of things I like to read. I'm fully aware of the audacity of this abrupt distanced point of view that came as a surprise even to me when I wrote it, but I guess at that point the story had a life of its own, cause that scene refused to come out any other way. Those 2 chapters were meant to contrast with the detailed introspection that came before, cause I felt that they had to stand out to illustrate the radical turn in the story. That's the way it came to me, and I'm really sorry I failed your trust in me but that's the way this story became what it is, that's why it's gonna stay this way. I apologize for letting you down when you expected continuity, but I only wrote this story in a couple of days, on an impulse, and I want it to keep its original intention, even if it has its flaws. I absolutely didn't mind the criticism (it takes more than that to upset me, I respect your opinion and it's only a fanfic!), I sincerely appreciate your honesty and the fact that you thought it worth informing me.

I'm very grateful for the couple of positive comments, of course! I'm glad you enjoyed, but there's an end to everything ;)

Anyway, this is the end. I suppose the epilogue is more fitting to everyone's taste and expectations, hopefully it will help my lack of constancy to be forgiven.

Thank you very much for reading this!


End file.
